The Bad Writing & Poetry Hall of Shame 2017-2018

19th century novelist Edward Bulwer-Lytton wrote so badly that San José University started an annual contest to see who could write opening sentences even worse than his. Equally terrible was 20th century poet Joyce Kilmer; Columbia University started a bad poetry contest in Kilmer’s “honor.” This year, the Overlake School Library ran its annual bad writing and bad poetry contest. The results caused a massive sick-out of the hapless faculty who had to vote on the worst of the worst. Out of almost 150 entries, here are the winners and honorable mentions for 2017-2018.

First Place—10 points

Are you ready to avoid cat-as-trophe by reading this meow-gical book on kitty care?

--Midori, 8th, Gold

Second Place—7 points

The unharmonious choir of punk rock angels

Meant to welcome people into heaven

Really threw off the vibe

--Cat, 7th, Gold

Third Place—5 points

The aroma of unwashed troll perfumed the scented garden.

--Lohann, 8th, Green

Honorable Mention—3 Points

As I sat in my seat, I was so proud that I had been elected Mr. Flatulent 2017.

--Ved, 5th, Gold

I watched my brother eat his moldy shoelace.

--John, 6th, Gold