Bad Writing Hall of Shame 2022

19th century novelist Edward Bulwer-Lytton wrote so badly that San José University started an annual contest to see who could write opening sentences even worse than his. This year, the Overlake School Library ran its annual Bad Writing Contest. By faculty vote, here are the winners for 2022, plus the winners in our new category—the “Accidentally Great” Writing Contest, for first lines of books we'd love to read!

Bad Writing Contest Winner

The sheep attacked my face like I was wearing a wool sweater and it wanted justice.   —Diya M., 6th 

 

Second Place

My brain broke like a lizard tail on a dark night. —Paxton, 6th

 

Third Place

I started with a smile as radiant as an apple from the grocery store with the wax on it. —Rohan, 8th

 

Honorable Mention

He let out a laugh, but it sounded more like a goat dying.   —Eva, 6th

He stepped off the sidewalk and unexpectedly fell into a black hole, spinning like a wild fidget spinner.   —Katie, 5th

As I dug up the grave, I drooled from the smell of dinner. —Andrew L., 7th

Accidentally Great Sentence Winner

If I can’t dream, am I allowed to live in this lightless city?   —Rylie, 7th

 

Second Place

The dread felt like mud seeping between his toes.    —Zelina, 8th

 

Third Place

It was the day the principal got fired.   —Rupert, 7th

 

Honorable Mention

I think I just killed my grandma.    —Miyako, 6th